Dead Until Dark
I Got That Dreamers Disease
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- When something bad happens: True is it that we have seen better days.
- When something REALLY bad happens: O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
- When people say that something is wrong because the Bible says so: The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
- When my girlfriend abandons me for food: FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
- When someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open for them: BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN'S INGRATITUDE!
- When I burn something while cooking: MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
- When human stupidity frustrates me: LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
- When someone says I'm going to hell for my sins: NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D.
- When I'm broke: My pride fell with my fortunes
- When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues: OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
- When someone disagrees with me: THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
- When I argue with my girlfriend: The course of true love never did run smooth.
- When I'm embarrassed: MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
- Someone says "Good Night": Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
- When you really want someone to go away: GET THEE TO A NUNNERY.
- When no one will hit on you at the bar: We should be wooed, we were not made to woo!
- When you want to bestow onto someone a totally sick burn: Excellent well, you are a fishmonger.
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Link reblogged from Randella LaKeitha Whoreton
The other day while riding down a sidewalk in an expensive residential area of the city known as The Annex, a man who was passing by stopped and turned to me.
“You shouldn’t be doing that, you know.”
Irritated, feeling as if it was impossible for me to catch a break, I turned and looked at him. It was Ryan Gosling.
Ryan. F-cking. Gosling.
It’s not enough that he breaks up street fights in Manhattan, but now he has to be the cycling police in Toronto, too?
I have no idea why I said this, but before I knew it I had sneered, “Give me a break, Gosling!”
